i jz dun understand...

yeah...i had a gf now...but...

i still cant get away from emoness...

why???

there she goes...my gf...yeah...gf a.k.a. girlfriend...

wat do girlfriend do?

well...the main thing is of coz...

love her bf...

and...yeah...of coz...care her bf's feeling...

now...wat happens to me is that...

i dun understand wat my gf understand...

sounds blur...but yeah...it's jz as simple as that...

i repeat again...i dun understand wat my gf understand!

hmm...i told her that i would like to see her everyday if im allowed to do so...

so she's ok with it...

and...i offer to fetch her back so that i could see her...

it's bcoz...we're kinda in an underground relationship...

she doesn't wan anyone to noe bout us bcoz she's afraid that her mum will get to noe this...

im fine with it...

so...1 day after class...i followed her and she ask me why do i follow her?

and i ask her back..."i tot im suppose to fetch u home?"

she said..."no, since when?"

then i was like...huh? hello...i jz told u ytd?

then wat she could do is jz tell me sorry...

ppl...if everything is as easy as sorry...world war I or world war II wouldn't exist...am i right?

and wat could i do? i could only said nvm...

but in my heart...the sorrow within...gosh...i couldn't describe...

then...move on to the other story...

i asked her our for a movie...

her mother dun allow her...

i can't do anything...so...im ok with it...

but i ask her can she accompany me for my meal...

then she said she's ok...

then today when im on my way...i ask her whr to eat...

she tell me she wanna go back home...

again...i was like...HUH??? HELLO??? U GONNA FFK ME AGAIN???

so...that's the story...how many more can i tolerate...it's jz a question mark...

and..im currently starving...moody...loss my appetite to eat...FML~

wow! it's been a while!

wow~ when was the last time i post??? haha...almost 2 months...

yeah i noe...very lame...question and answer myself...

but nvm...today is the last day of february...so...

im planning to refresh my emo blog...

hmm...wat happened to me last 2 months???

im sure most of u guys who read this r anxious in knowing wat i did in this 2 months...

actually...she accepted me...

i dunno why...

but yes...she accepted me...

after all this emo...and almost giving up...

and the day i ask her again...

i was prepared to receive her long anticipated answer...

that day was my birthday...

2nd january 2011...

the day i turned 19...

she wished me happy birthday and asked me wat i wan for my present...

so i tell her...

"i wan ur answer..."

she tell me...

"ok...i will tell u...but after today..."

so i waited till 12am...and asked her again...

i prepared myself already with 2 bars of chocolate in front of me...

so...here she was...

she told me...yes...

i was like...wat?

why?

i asked again..."r u sure?"

she said yes...

but with condition...

she said...her parents would not accept her having a relationship...

so...she gave me a condition that...we can only act as fren in public...

and...i...was fine with it...

and there we go...

me and her start coupling...

i had a few problems with her...

she...seemed blur...

she told me that she dunno wat to do as a gf...

and i always tot that she neglected me...

and so...i still emo...even after coupling...

bcoz...it makes no diff...

but...she did change after i tell her her mistake...

but...it seemed like im coupling with myself instead of her...

nvm...i love her...that's wat matters...><

the end~ taahaa~

it's a new year...

the first day of new year...made me so emo...

that my heart is like thousands of blade stabbed me...

u sent a new year greeting to me...

my mood's still not recover after deciding to give up on u...

i replied coldly to u...

my heart's pain was doubled at that time...

it's very hard for me to press the send button...

eventually i did it...

i really was in pain sending that to u...

but...who cares...

no one cares bout me...

especially u...

im always smiling outside...

but inside it's so hurt...

why im so fool...

it's so obvious that u dun like me...

delaying my question...cold towards me whenever i talk bout this...

but i still...trying to hope that miracle would happen...

i noe it wouldn't mean much to u...

but to me...it's everything...

bcoz i noe clearly that i love you...

but...wat to do...things won't always happen as we wish...

wat i hope now is...

i could forget u...

stop finding u...

begin my new life...

in this new year...

if i jz can't forget...then...i'll jz hav to accept the fact and continue emo...

till eternity...

the confession of me...

it's been a long time since my last post in this blog...

today is 31st of december...

a new year is gonna start...

i've been through a lot of experience this year...

now that i recall back...

im thinking some decision that i made could be wrong...

the most valuable experience i had which i could nv forget...

i finally manage to communicate with girls...

and...i even start wooing u...

i dunno how i did it...

but im glad of it...

but...things change...

i can't wait u forever...

all i could said was...

im sorry i've been disturbing u for the past 7 months...

i really appreciate the time we were together...

but i think i shud not continue wasting time for u...

from now on...

i would try not to text u...or even pm u in msn...

that was the least thing i could do...

and slowly i'll leave from ur life...

i could not forget the seconds we had yesterday...

juz after our finals...we went out together...

although it's rather a boring outing...

but it's probably the last time im going out with u...

i asked u again face to face...

u still give me the same question...asking me to wait...

and im the fool who still dun get it...

it's jz an excuse for u to delay it...

now that im more awake now...

so i guess...i shud end it...

that's my confession...

swt...update my blog after 1 week...==

emo...

i kept thinking the same question...

why wouldn't u reject me???

if it's that hard for u...

why dun u juz reject?

why???

i wont give up until u reject me...

heard some news today bout some guy commit suicide bcoz his gf somehow dumped him...(not very sure the incident)

he posted a post jz b4 he commits suicide..

many would said that his act is stupid...

but...to me...i think he's somehow brave...

doing something that i wont hav that courage to do so...

of coz...some may said..."u got that courage to kill urself...

but why dun hav that courage to face the problem?"

those r juz ppl who nv really experienced the problem...

did u noe to face the problems actually much more harder than dying?

this is the true example of falling someone  truly and deeply...

u would do anything for that someone...

i really salute him...

i won't follow his steps...yeah...im afraid of death...

probably bcoz i dun fall for u too much...

sem 3 coming soon...kinda happy with my timetable coz...i'll meet u more often...but this time got no break already...cant go out with u already...

nvm...let's juz see our  fate then...

nitez!~

hmm...here i am again...

yo~ sorry...kinda busy nowadays...cant find a time to blog...

i'll juz skip the days i missed since ntg much happened...

this morning...as usual...monday morning...

gosh...it's extra hard to wake up during mondays...

since it's the day whr we first start our class...

but somehow~ i managed to force myself to wake up...

bcoz...today's chemistry lab session is the only class i had in common with u...

gonna appreciate it...

so...i went to school...saw u...

im kinda tired actually...so...

din talk much to u...

then when class ended...we got 3 hours break...

so...we decided to go 1 utama~

when i was on my way to get my car...i saw...SHAWN!!! hahaha

he's acting cute asking me to bring him together...

"come on...u noe i wont bring u rite? haha"

sorry shawn...=)

"yeah~ going out with u again...happy^^..."

that's wat im thinking at that moment...haha...

this time the "u" refers to...of coz...u noe who...haha...not SHAWN a!!! ^^

so...basically we went 1u...walk walk...

then...u saw an advertisement...

there's a guy who looks kinda idiotic and fat...

u made fun of me...saying i look like him...

"come on lar...im not fat ok..."

that's why i told her...

then she keep laughing...

i started poking at her arm...*i like to do that to her^^*

i keep doing that until it's time for us to go back...

then we get in the car...u continued making fun of me...

i poke u again...but then this time u tried to block me...

then...i grab ur hand...hold it tightly...

u tried to make urself free...but...

im stronger ma...so...no way u're gonna be free...

i tot u'll got mad...but then...u continue making fun of me...

so...i juz hold ur hand...from 1utama...until i reach uni...

hahaha...i love that feeling...so...

unable to describe...^^

that's the end for to...day or night? haha...it's 1am already...gosh...

toodles guys~

 

love> study?

hmm...yesterday(since it's past 12am already)...

i woke up early...

slept at 3am that night...

woke up that early...

wondering wat is happening to my biological clock...@@

of coz...the first thing i tot when im awake was u...

u told me the other day that u're gonna reach school late...

hmm...

actually i hav class at 9am...

but...without ur existence...i got no mood to attend the class...

so...i decided to slack...

had a few match of sudden attack...

damn...those players...

how can they get headshot all the time???

*yeah...i noe i got off topic...hehe...*

the time i was longing for arrived...

i reached school...sms u wat time ur class ends...

so that we could hav lunch together...

u replied kinda late...

im starting to get frustrated already...

eventually...u replied...telling me that u're gonna skip ur class and go back earlier...

then i asked u wanna eat or not...

u didnt reply...

i wait and wait...

u still din reply...

so...i take my lunch with my frenz...

holding my handphone hoping that u're gonna reply me...

but...

haiz...u didnt...

after a few moment later...

u replied...telling me that u're out of credit...

gosh...i relieved...

after that...we continued sms-ing...

until night...u on msn...

i was waiting ur reply...

but u din...

after quite some time...

then u replied me...

i was emo already that time...

haiz...

we continued chatting...despite my emo...

i suddenly asked u...wat if i 1 day i dun bother u anymore...

u said u'll be sad...

then i give another condition...

"wat if other ppl dun bother u? is it the same?"

u said..."yes"

means u're treating me the same as others after all...

i asked u...

do u love me?

it's still the same old answer...u dunno...

haiz...

somehow i find this quote true...

爱情，需要的是感觉，不是时间，时间再久也不能让一不爱你的人爱上你，一个人，若是让你等了很久很久，那你该知道，他的心中根本就没有你，若是有你，他也会想要和你在一起...