sometimes it's best not to think much...

today...i had a boring day...

spent some time with u...

but didnt talk much...

i could feel the gap...

ytd...i asked u...did anyone confessed to u b4...

u said yes...

i asked wat response u gave?

u said some rejected...some dunno...

the word "dunno" somehow made me sad...

which means...im not the only one waiting for ur confirmation...

i noticed that...u really not into relationship type of gal...

no point me trying to prove anything to u...

u juz won't accept it...

even if u really accept it...

u won't be serious...

while chatting...

i noticed that u kept trying to end my conversation...

asked wat u were doing...

u replied chatting...

i dunno who u were chatting with...

but...im sure...they're certainly more important than me...

i noe...i shud give u some space...

but...since im not important to u...

why must i continue bugging u? i mean...i do hav dignity...

yeah...about the dignity problem again...

i care a lot wat ppl think of me...

juz 1 word that describes 1 bad thing bout me...

and i'll think and think if it's really me doing the mistake...

but...doesnt humans suppose to hav their own perception?

my perception might cause many ppl could not accept it...

but...it's mind...i was born like that...

anyone ask me..i would answer that...

looking at my previous post of how happy i am...

actually those r only imagination...

im having false hope...

u asked me...

why must u emo...

i told u...

i emo bcoz some gal dun tell me her answer...

and bcoz of that im emo...

you replied..."ala"...

then...no more replies...

when u're emo...and expressing ur feeling...

receiving such reply would really drive u crazy...

today is wednesday...

im suppose to accompany u for an hour...

u din msg me and gone to other floor alone...

i hate myself for following u when i saw u...

i shud had gone other place...

it shows how thick faced i am...

nvm...maybe after this week...i won't be following u already...

many frenz would object at the decision i made today...

but...i dunno...juz feel tired of thinking already...

busy week?

hmm...having a very busy week...

with 1 public speaking and 3 tests in line...

i dun seems to doing anything at all...

but instead...im enjoying myself...

wat happened to me???

i had lost the will to study...

why why why???

haiz...today...i went one utama with u and my fren...

we had lunch there...

u cant finish ur meal...

so i finished it for u...

i kinda like that feeling...

bcoz...i always helped my family finish all the leftovers...

now it's u...that feeling is like...with a family...

after that...during the night...

u even asked me to play game with u...

although to me it's lame...but...

playing with someone u like...

the feeling is not the same...

it's the best game i ever had...

today's post kinda short...

coz i had ntg else to write...

so...wait for tmr...it's tuesday...

i could only meet u at the morning...sad case...

1 fine day...

im happy today...

bcoz...i dun nd to study...hahahahaha...

erm and...bcoz i got to sms with u when i was almost bored to death...

when to cc today...haiz...

my skills in dota is deteriorating...

maybe too much alt+tab...haha

nvm...im ok with it...dota is not important for me anymore...

wat's most important is u...

but...i got the feeling that i only syok sendiri...

nvm...the important thing is i happy...

dun care wat ppl think...

i asked u again today...

when wanna be my gf...

u answered me "wait till i believe u"

wat an answer...

could be yes or no...

i dunno...but i shud give it a shot...probably this week...

dun wanna think much...

exam this week...

gotta concentrate on my exams first...

probably stopping dota could make myself hav more time...

this is the time for me to choose...

whether fren or you or study...

i could only choose 2...

dilemma...haiz...

nevertheless...goodnight! haha...

haiz...another swt day...

u still havent recover from ur sick and tmr is test...

can't expect u to reply me any better...

i juz hope that watever u suffering subsides...

i had a light chat with u juz now...

although it's rather cold...but...expected...

and yeah...the connection today damn suck...

keep clicking for reconnection...

missed ur previous conversation...

unable to reply u...

haiz...why...

nvm...

i told u that im worrying...

u tell me not to worry...

glad to hear that...

went out with my fren today...

told him my problems...

he said that i truly fall for her d...

i noe...if i dun fall that deep...

probably this blog doesnt exist...

this is the first time i like a person so much...

more than anything else...

haha...silly eh...

but...that's the power of love rite...

i believe anyone who experienced it noes my feeling...

but...i got a feeling that...

i may not hav fate with you...

there r many reasons i said so...

i asked u for a movie at the 1st time...failed...bcoz u got smtg important to do...

when i juz gonna further improve our relationship...

u got sick...

when i wanna ask u out for the 2nd time...u need to attend ur grandma's birthday...

now...i think u had forgotten our date already...

which makes me wonder...

r these coincidence???

i noe i shud not think too much...

but...nvm...

i'll juz give a lame excuse anyway...

tmr's gonna exam...i hereby wishes u luck...and...may u recover quickly...

wat matters the most...

is ur health...

toodles...^^

hmm...unlucky day...

hmm..din hav much talk today...

but still enjoying...

i noticed some diff in u already...

u're not cold towards me already...

instead...hot...

we had a little chat after we finished our homework...

then...ur fren came and we went eating...

then there's one guy...who i dun really like...

suddenly came and sat beside me...

talking to u...

but...i dun feel any jealous...

probably bcoz i assume the guy juz making fren...

or maybe...bcoz...i sense smtg in u that makes me feel secure...

after that...we hang out in an empty room with ur girl friend...

then...ur class starts...i walk u to the door... and wished goodbye to u...

u replied with a smile...

then...i went to my class...

when my class ended...i went to the class whr u were attending...

my next class was there...

so...while waiting i searched for u...

u were sitting beside that guy again...

then i saw u smiling at me...

which that feeling of killing that guy immediately melted...

when ur class ends...u went to rest...while i continue my class...

during the class is sms-ed u...

after a few sms, i decided not to disturb ur rest...

and concentrate on the class...

then...everything went bored after that...until at night...

u online...and u told me a bad news...

which is u were sick...

u told me u still nd to finish ur assignment...

i really wanted to help...but...cant...

all i hope now is u recover quickly...

haiz...actually i wanna ask u out this friday...since...u were sick...

i guess i'll juz cancel it...

enough for today...haha...nitez^^

hmm...ntg much today...

early in the morning...

sis told me to breakfast with her ytd...

i waited...but she din come...

so...i went to a quiet and peaceful to do my homework...

while doing...i was thinking of you...

i promised myself...so many times...i shud forget u...

but...why cant i?

after a while...u msg me...asking whr am i...

thrilled of coz...

immediately i replied u...and headed to the canteen looking for u...

i was happy...u made my day...

but...it's juz a short 30 minutes...enjoyed a little talk...

after that...i went for my tutorial class...

9am in the morning...while everyone was so energetic for their first class of the day...

im so tired...that i cant open my eyes properly...

slept for a short while...luckily the tutor didnt notice...

10pm...class ended...had to rush for the next class...which is bio practical...

one of the class i hate this sem...

dun wanna talk much bout it...

then...it's chemistry lecture...

i was sleepy at first...but then...

after my fren bought for me a can of nescafe ice...

i feel awake...at least...for half an hour...after that...

i couldn't resist...and slept again...

then i had 1 hour break...b4 going for my maths lecture...

took my first meal of the day...which is 2pm already...

haiz...the rest of the day...juz like that...

without u...my life is dull...

im glad that u chatted with ur old frenz...

u seem so happy...which indirectly made me happy too...

hahahaha...zzz...

sleepy now...time for my bed...toodles^^

day 1...

haiz...the end of day 1...

i try not think of u...

but ended up...swt...

i asked u...do u miss me...

u replied yes...

then i asked u...do u love me?

u replied yes...

but after i asked...then be my gf then...

u answered...im not a boy...lolx...

haiz...why...

why dun u juz answer me...iah

since u could said that u love me...

why...not accept???

u making me feeling confused...

oh yeah...about the relationship status in fb...

i was liking every status without reading it in fb...

that's wat i usually did...

suddenly one of my fren...

told me that she's gonna be my wife for 1 day...

i find it quite fun so i accepted it...

she had to do this bcoz im the 4th person who like the status she posted...

which says...she will married to the 4th person who like the status for 1 day...

so...to those who misunderstood...sry^^

im sincere...i only love u...

i think i'd thought clearly now...

aaaaahhhh...juz finished my chemistry report which i need to pass up tmr...

oops..it's today since the time now is 2.11am...

today...u r doing ur report too...

u were asking me some question bout the report...

but...i answered...rudely...

u were like...

mad at me...

i dunno if u're really mad or wat...

but...u said that u dun wanna ask me anymore...

after that...we din chat already...

on that very period...when i was doing my report...

i dropped my pen...staring at our conversation...

and think...(i noe i think a lot but...cant help it...)

i was thinking...

hmm...after my analysis and according to my feel...

im 100% confirmed that u treated me like ur best fren...

u din answer my u-noe-wat question is bcoz u dun wanna hurt me...

all sorts of excuses u gave me...

but i still having false hope...

hoping that u're juz confused...

nah...it's not true after all...

i noe...a number of my frenz would feel disappointed after reading this...

but...it's true...i could feel it...

not only feel it...it's in front of my eyes...

not that i could try to not believe it...

im find actually this way...

at least...i won't be suffering...

and...u dun nd to suffer to...trying to avoid my question...

dun worry...i won't ask anymore...

this feeling...this girl that i liked...for almost 5 months...

all of these...r officially gonna leave from me...

shud i find a new target?

no...i wont...

i wouldn't wan this feeling terrorize me again...

again and again...

i told myself...to forget u...

but...again and again...failed...

i hope this time...won't fail already...

bcoz...im officially...dead...

if i changed after this post...dun got curious my dear friends...

it's juz that...im a person...who juz suffered from...

the silly imagination i created my own...

thinking that i could had a chance...

silly silly silly...

tears rolling from my eyes...

across my already wet cheek...

tested my salty tears...

trying to forget wat i've been through...

tmr(today) is a new day...

i guess...i'll juz go to my bed...take my rest...

i seriously confused...

haiz...why...

i dun hav luck in relationships...

im always lucky in other stuff...

but not relationship...

why why why...

asked u for movie...

last minute u nd to do smtg...

i dunno wat to do d...

i only feel u treat me as a good fren...

not more than that...

everytime i ask u...

when r u gonna be my gf...

all sorts of answers u gave me...

none of them give me an exact answer...

why?

shud i blame my frenz for making fun of u?

until u dun believe that im serious?

i won't blame my frenz...

they juz doing it for fun...

but...

why...why dun u believe me...

the way i ask really weird...but...it stills shows that im sincere rite?

i dunno...i got no exp in such thing...

im not daring enough...

im not confident of myself...

i...

dunno...

i think too much...really i realize that...

but wat to do???

i cant stop it from thinking...haiz...

here i am^^

im in high 5 mood today...

i was looking forward for the adam lambert concert today...

cant wait to finish class early...

when it's evening...

i go back home...waiting for my fren to fetch me to the hall...

it's my first time watching live performance from such a big artist...

the best part is...

i enjoy sms with u throughout the concert...

i told u bout the concert so that u could feel as if u're in it...

i enjoyed sms-ing with u...

asked u out for a movie...

u agreed...

i hope there's no last minute rejection^^

sorry guys...

i didn't update my blog ytd bcoz i was way too sleepy...

sorry...

today is the day i sit 1 to 1 with u...

we chatted a little...u seems giggly...

so much diff when u're in msn...

it's like...im like u in msn at real life...

and u like me in msn at real life...

blur?

haha..i make it simple...

u're more easier to talk to when meet u face to face...

while im the opposite^^

i asked u to follow me to adam lambert's concert ytd...

u rejected me...but it's logical...

it's too late already...

at least u did wanna go..juz bcoz it's time prob...

nvm...at least i gotta watch adam live...haha...

juz...without watching him with u...the fun seems reduced,,,

i noticed...the way u chat with me in msn had been diff...

much more friendlier already...

r u taking me as ur bro?

this question keep playing in my mind...im a thinker...it's usual for me to think...

i went cheras today...after fetching my twin...

after i went the night market there...

a bit diff compared to malacca one...

enjoyed it...

for now i dun wanna think much...

juz...

wat goes around...comes around...^^

i gotta feeling...

today supposed to be my happy day...but...i dunno...

human would nv got satisfied... or is it juz me...

i dunno...today...same class with u...

although i sat with u today...but...kinda cold...

both u and me seemed tiring...

ytd chatted until 2am...

finished class...we went one utama take our lunch...

i dunno but my sense kept telling me that...

u're juz treating me more towards fren than wat i wanted u to treat me as...

but then...i felt...if maintain like that...why not?

i could tell u i love you anytime i wan...

u wouldn't mind...that's the best part...

haha...ppl may think that im crazy...

maybe i am...im obsessed...

which is a dangerous behavior...many stalker came from this behavior...

nvm...life got it's up and down...live happily...

no matter how u die...at least...u noe that u lived happily b4...

i saw pictures of the accident in the recent news...

tragic death of the victims...deepest condolence to all of them...

im wondering...wat if im one of the victim...would u cry for me?

maybe yes...for a short while...maybe no...

im still waiting for ur answer...haiz...

dun worry be happy is wat matters^^

bored day...

i got ntg to write actually for today...

but...dunno why...without writing blog it seems my day doesnt ends...

 woke up around 10am today...

after breakfast im asked to wash the car...

had no choice but to wash it...

damn tiring...the weather's so hot...

around 2smtg after lunch...

i started my journey back to pj for the first time with car...

car passes me 1 after another...cant do anything...

i cant speed up...worrying it would overheat...

the temperature reading keeps increasing...

enough introduction...

i texted u while driving...enjoyed much of it until u stopped reply...

maybe u fell asleep...dun wanna disturb u...

i continue my journey...kinda tiring without ur text...

but im driving...cant feel sleepy...

i forced myself to stay awake...

with the temperature level rising...i dun think so im that sleepy anymore...

2 days not meeting u is like years...

missing u like hell...gosh...

wat's happening to me...

i havent meet my grandmother for weeks already...

and im missing you more than her...

obsessed is all i could say...

haha...bad news though...i promise myself i would see my grandma next week...

promise!

tragic day...

wow...it's my first time coming back from kl to my hometown by the north south highway...
kinda fun...although the car's kinda slow...
1 by 1...cars past by me...envy of them...driving such a nice car...
but...at least...i got to sms while im enjoying my slow ride...
and the best part...it's with u...
i went shopping and movies with u, my sis and ur fren today...
my sis kept asking me...why im so quiet...
she was worried that im jealous...
well...i did feel jealous...
but...it's ur fren...wat's wrong with talking with fren...
so...i manage to get rid of it...
no hard feelings...we went watching movies...
the cineplex was damn cold...
but the movie's kinda nice...
then...i fetched u and my sis back to school...
and i cont my journey fetching my fren....back to my hometown...
u asked me...wat makes me like u...
u said that u were cold to me...
to tell u the truth...i myself didnt really noe actually...
i juz noe that i like u...thats all...no reason...
sometimes...asking for answers is much better than juz accept it...
yeah...i opted to juz accept it...
every now and then...my eyes will automatically look for u...
it's kind of a habit...
and when some guy talk to u i feel jealous(a lot)...
when i noe that it's time for ur class i felt sad...
when im together with u i felt happy...although we din talk that much...
i juz enjoy having u with me...
these r some of the reasons that makes me think that i like u...
or i shud said...obsessed...
im still waiting for ur answer...
no matter u reject or accept...
im ok with it...all i wan u to noe that...
i love u~
note: im not emoing now...xP

bored night~

today...wednesday...

im having 3 hours break in the morning...

u hav 2...

so we hang out...

kinda bored...im doing my homework...and u take ur nap...

from time to time i'll look at u...

i got my car today...went one utama the moment i had it...

reached home...i on msn...hoping to had another nice day chatting with u...

too bad...today...u're doing ur report...

so...not much chatting today...

i asked u if u need me to fetch u back home...

u said ur fren would fetch u...

bcoz he could accompany u...

that means i cant?

im starting to feel jealous again...(i hate that)

then u said ur fren's a gay...

i wonder if it's true...

i've already did a mistake by saying that i wanna follow...

i shud not had asked...

regretting that stupid decision already...

after that...we din continue chat already...

i already run out of topic chatting...

sad case...my game gonna end juz like that...

shud i cr8 a new game?

im having silly imaginations and hallucinations ...

tired...gonna sleep now...

toodles~

 

wa...wat a tiring day...

after doing that stupid thing ytd...

and sleeping late...

wow...today...i felt...damn tiring...

almost the whole day im dreaming...

brain cant function well...

and the other reason is...

i kept thinking of u...

i noticed a changed in me after i met u...

i used to sleep early when i was in secondary...

bcoz i cant miss chatting with u...

i slept late...

i wont sleep until u sleep...

i was a school bullier...

bcoz of u...i somehow...turned "good"

i was emo bcoz of u...then anti emo...also bcoz of u...

i enjoy the feeling of liking someone...

that's bcoz i nv really pay much attention bout these when im in secondary...

all i do those days  were only games...

i went to the extend of playing truant and go to the nearest cc to satisfy my addiction towards games...

but now...i no longer that person...

today...i tried talking to u...

u acted perfectly normal...

then night...i chat with u thru msn...

u tell me that u're going out this friday with a male friend and his frens that u dunno...

that sense of jealousy immediately came to me...but i managed to cover it...

after u told me that i could go with u...

i kinda lost my mind when i said that i wanna follow...

well...this whole day i lost my mind...cant think properly...

but nvm...since i already asked...there's no turning back...

i'll try my best to watch my words next time...

yay...i'll be getting my car tmr...im gonna fulfill my dream to explore KL...

with or without u...

hahahhahahahahaha...

oh yeah...while chatting...i felt much loosen now...

since i already told u i like u...

i dun nd to hide my feelings already...

there r pros and cons on the decision i made...

but...im a human...i admit sometimes i kinda imba...(you can ignore this part if u're uncomfortable with it)

but...no matter how imba i am...i still will make mistakes!

it's late now...gonna sleep!hehe

GG...

i done one of the stupidest thing in the world...

i drop hint d...

i ask u...if i wan kao u...can?

u said i dunno...

then i ask again...u still answer the same...

u think that im sick...

swt...cant u juz answer...

no or yes i could accept it...at least im prepared...

i dun wanna continue waste time d...

week after week...

my 1st test is coming...

and im not prepared...

how now...i wonder wat would happen if i meet u tmr...

u tot that im playing...how...

wat must i do so that u believe me?

i juz need yes or no...

thats all...

u answer i dunno...

how am i suppose to continue???

that's all i can say...GG!!! ^^

mood : confused again...

today...dunno wat wind blow me...

makes me think lots of thing...

i recall my past encounter with u...

i realized that...hmm...

after all these while...i still cant tell whether u hav any feelings towards me or not...

that makes me kinda hard to continue...

sometimes ur replies could be as hot as the countries along the equatorial line...

sometimes it's as cold as arctic or antarctic...

i can't stand receiving some news about u that will hurt me...

i promised myself to quit emo and start being optimistic...

but...sometimes...the feelings...i juz couldn't control...

now wat i need most is to noe wat u think...

it's impossible to me...

coz...it seemed that u're unwilling to share private matters with me...

it could be either u're shy...or u juz treat me like normal ordinary fren...

sometimes i tot im juz satisfying myself by making fake imaginations...

my 1st test in 2nd sem is coming...i haven't prepared anything...

im still wasting my time thinking of all these silly questions which i could not stop it from coming...

i watched glee for ur sake...i read house of night for ur sake..

i did all these so that i hav smtg in common with u...

not that im forcing myself to do those stuffs...

glee and house of night r cool like u said...

but...YOU are the reason i started them...

wat i could said now is that im obsessed...

i tried so hard to stop those negative feelings...

but...in the end...i only manage to cover those feelings on the outside...

but inside...it hurts...

today...is my emo day...

-end-

running out of "fuel"

i think it's almost coming to an end of my "long" time chasing record...
broke the record though...since it's the first time i start to chase...girl...
the main problem im facing now is...
out of topic...which is similar to cars which r out of fuel...
without fuel...a car can't move...
same logic...
without topic...i can't continue...
always with the same old conversation...
maybe i shud quit dota and get a life like she had?
is it worth?
now it's either i str8 confess or juz continue with this i-dunno-wat-else-to-do situation...
stucked already...
like car too...running out of fuel...deciding to take short cut...or the long one which is safer...
i dunno why i relate everything to cars...but it's kinda make sense^^
great...im talking bout school with her...wat a lame topic...=.=...
due to the everyday update policy...im making myself awake juz to finish this post...hahahahaha ^^

mix mix ^^

wa...today...almost...like a worthless day...
i done ntg...
woke up late...
went breakfast at old town...
while eating...facebook...
while breakfast-ing...
wait for time to pass...
u promised me that u can fetch me to the bus station...
so i waited till 11.30...
reached 11.30...
i walked to school...anxious to see u...
reached school...i start to find u...
i go com lab...
then i saw my sister...^^
after realizing u're not in com lab...
both of us(me and my sister) headed to bio lab...
to see my future brother in law...LOLx...
yeah after visiting...
i smsed u and u said u're at canteen...
so i headed to canteen to see u...
found u easily...then...
sat down...chit chat a while...
lepak lepak...then ur father reached...
i went in ur car with some fear in me...
ur father's face expression...more or less like my dad's...
that kind of aura was intimidating me...
@@
but somehow...i managed to reach the bus station safely...thank god...haha...
then i continue my journey back my hometown...
on my way...
i kept imagining...
u and me going out...holding hands...
lolx...funny scene anyway...
i also figured out why i like u d...
there's so many girls around yet im fond of u...
now i noe why...
the way u treat ppl! the way u act!
that's why i like u...
not bcoz of physical attraction...^^
im glad i found out...
but...i really out of topic talking to u d...
u're a tv maniac...im a game maniac...
and you're not my gf yet...
nvm...haha...thx to my fren there...
i nd to finish the blog for today b4 i sleep...@@